At least make sure they are 18
Why
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize