Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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