You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
