Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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