somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
