Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
