I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
