Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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