my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize