hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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