apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
