apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
