there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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