Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
