Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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