i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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