watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
