Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
