girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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