If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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