Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
