singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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