I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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