wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
