can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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