I'm lost and stupid without you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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