i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
