I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
