My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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