If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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