Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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