I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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