sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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