He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
