i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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