i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Houston, we have a blender
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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