I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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