True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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