I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
