this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
