She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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