I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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