1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
