it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize