so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
my poor anus
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
