Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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