did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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