Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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