you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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