he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
