I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
