absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
