What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
