If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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