They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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