i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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