Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
